Bleach Makes The Better Bimbo

As we grow up, we “learn” all sorts of truths that are supposed to carry us through our journey to the Big Sleep. For convenience sake, these life lessons are often distilled into little fortune-cookie sized nuggets. One of these is “You can’t judge a book by its cover”. Now, this is very true. In fact, I bet it is true more often than not. Bimbos, however, are lucky. That’s because bimbos ARE books that you are supposed to judge by the cover. Hair is an important factor in making that judgement. For those who wish to walk the road of bimbohood, I would recommend starting with your hair as the first step you take (even before a simple manicure).

Style is for a whole other article. The only thing I am going to say about that here is that longer is better. If men wanted to have sex with someone wearing short hair, we would all be gay. There is no such thing as a bimbo with a pixie cut. If you are still in doubt, Google the following (or have someone do it for you, bimbo): Nikki Benz, Krystal Steal, any of Hef’s current gfs, Lachelle Marie, Victoria Silvstedt, I could go on but I won’t.

Color – obviously, all True Bimbos are blonde. It goes beyond that simple fact. All TRUE Bimbos come by way of their color by a bottle. Even a natural blonde needs a bottle to be Bimbo. Just like fake tits are the best kind of tits, the best kind of blonde comes from a bottle. There are dozens of fake shades out there that are acceptable. Personally, I tend towards the ‘metallic’ blonde look as my favorite; other men have their own tastes. Sunny, Ash, and Platinum should be the range of “blonde-ness” that you should be talking about with the stylist in any event. Anything less and you might as well become a brunette and take math classes.

The salon is the only way for a bimbo to go when it comes time to dye her hair. This is especially true with dark brown or black hair - unless she is going for the trashy look with her roots showing - a decision that should be left up to her man. You cannot achieve the necessary “high maintenance” look that is essential for a bimbo at home. You must have professional help. It would be best to have a picture or two ready to show the stylist (try and remember to cover/remove any nudity first) what hair color you would like. The best strategy is to ask a few strippers or men’s magazine models where they go. Plus, you can get the dye job, styling and regular maintenance checks when you go. One stop shopping – leaves more time for looking for just the right g-string for him (or me).

Uggs Are Ugly

Remember when your teacher or parent would ask you, "If all of your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?". Now we all know the answer to the question and it isn't "It depends what's at the bottom". The answer is "No." Well, just because a famous bimbo does something doesn't mean that all the other bimbos have to rush right out and copy her. And by her I mean Pamela Anderson (one of the greatest bimbos of all-time). And "something" I mean wearing Uggs. There is a reason that they call the Uggs people; they’re freaking ugly (yeah I know, way tooo easy on that one)! Why anyone, especially any bimbo, would wear a pair of those is beyond me. “But they are so warm and comfortable!”. If this is your reply, then go back to being a brunette, put on a pair of flats and start shopping at the GAP. Remember Bimbos, it’s not about your comfort, it’s about how you look to other people. They cannot compare to a good set of knee boots with 5” heels.

As for warmth - part of being a bimbo is suffering to look as sexy as possible. If your legs get cold, put on a pair of seemed stockings (NOT pantyhose). Wear a little, flippy miniskirt that will blow up in the chill wind giving everyone a peek at your pretty little panties (should you be wearing any). This should lead to several invitations to come inside and get out of the cold. Flat boots do not add to the level of the bimbo's sexuality. Uggs are worse, they actually detract from the wearer's looks. This cannot be tolerated. A bimbo's wardrobe should only contain outfits and accessories that make her look sexy (and a good selection should be geared towards the slutty look). Why wear flats at all when there are so many yummy heeled shoes to select from. Here are my suggestions when looking for the right shoes for a bimbo to wear:

1 - 4" should be considered the bimbo equivalent of "flats".

2 - Stiletto heels are the best heels for general wear.

3 - Platform shoes should only be worn when going for the "Stripper/Slut" look.

4 - Avoid black when possible (although some looks need it). Not festive enough.

5 - 5" is the best height for heels.

6 - Anything above a 7" heel is strictly fetish (every bimbo needs a pair of ballet boots!).

That's how I see it and that's how I blog it!

Being a Better Bimbo #1

I have noticed that there are many 360 profiles out there asking for tips on being a better bimbo. It takes time and effort to be a Bimbo. Unlike the “natural athlete”, who can often coast through a sports career on god-given talent alone, a Bimbo must work hard to be a Bimbo. With that in mind I offer the following:

Part of what makes a Bimbo is not only her looks. How a Bimbo acts is just as important as how big her tits are. If you want to be a Bimbo, you need to act like one. The place where both looks and actions meet is makeup. A Bimbo cannot achieve her look without the use of makeup. BUT, makeup needs constant attention. It smears. It smudges. It fades. It almost always needs touching up. The only way to make sure that her makeup is perfect is to check it frequently. A compact will be as useful to a Bimbo as her razor. Odds are, when she checks herself in the mirror, a Bimbo will find that she needs to fix something about her makeup. If she is constantly checking herself in the mirror and seeing problems with her makeup, then she will be constantly applying makeup. This will help reinforce her image as a Bimbo in the eyes of others.

Here are some ideas to help you become a better Bimbo:

1) When at home keep an alarm clock of some kind (maybe a kitchen timer) that you can set to go off every 50 – 60 minutes. When it does, stop what you are doing and check your makeup. Use the mirror in your compact. Reapply something somewhere on your face even if you find nothing wrong. Every time you are in the bathroom, make it a point to check yourself in the mirror. Fix if necessary.

2) When at work, keep track of the time. Every 50-60 minutes take out the compact and fix your makeup. If you are a receptionist, you MUST apply some lip product (stick/liner/balm) every time. When you go to the bathroom, take you makeup pouch/case (or purse if necessary) to the bathroom and check/fix your makeup; this is very important if there are others there. If possible, carry on a conversation with a co-worker while fixing your makeup.

3) At school, make it a ritual to re-apply makeup at the beginning of each class. You MUST apply lipstick each time even if you do nothing else. If you want to run the risk of pissing off your prof, apply makeup during the class. If you use the school bathrooms, always check the mirror. Always apply makeup if there is someone else present.

The goal is to create a new behavior in you. Eventually, you will check your make up every hour without the need for an alarm. No matter where you are, you will reach for the compact. This will reinforce your bimbo image in the eyes of others.

Cut! Print! Wrap! That's a blog

Shaven, Not Stirred

A Bimbo has many “best” friends. One of them is her razor. To beat a dead horse, a Bimbo is constantly on display. Before she can go on stage, the Stripper has to do a lot before she can get up on stage and start dancing. A Bimbo is always on “stage”. Part of being up on that stage means having to paying attention to the proper grooming standards. In other words, other than on her head there should be no hair on a Bimbo’s body. This is especially true of pubic hair. For the True Bimbo, her only option is a bare, naked pussy.

There are two ways to get rid of pubic hair on one method for keeping it off. One way is shaving. The best way for the first time is waxing. A professional waxing works great for the first time. It takes the hair out at the root, preventing growth for weeks (instead of days). This process can be somewhat painful. This is a good thing (see me earlier posts for my feelings on the whole "pain for others pleasure" beliefs). A good salon will be very thorough in getting all of the stay hairs. Once waxed however, the only way for a Bimbo to stay properly groomed is to shave regularly (and with an aloe-based gel). The only for the wax to work is if there is enough hair for it to grab a hold of. Since the goal is to keep a smooth pussy, a Bimbo can only wax once. This is not a bad thing. Time spent grooming is time well spent. A Bimbo’s principle occupation is looking fuckable.

There is no reason for this other than that fact that a smooth pussy is sooo fucking sexy.

So,

there.

Schoolgirl Outfits ARE NOT For Halloween

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Pierced For His Pleasure

Piercings are a must for any Bimbo. Like well-manicured (or even fake) nails and big tits, it is impossible to even be a Bimbo without having multiple piercings. Piercings allow a Bimbo to attach jewelry to her body, calling attention to certain areas and enhancing her overall appearance. This does not include the ears. Every woman should have pierced ears, probably done at birth; much like circumcision is performed on male infants as a routine procedure. Ears don’t count.

A Bimbo has four places that must be pierced:

Tongue. One word - blowjobs. Here’s two more - bimbos, blowjobs. No more words necessary. Second reason – Looks. A pierced tongue looks sexy because it is an advertisement for oral sex. It suggests that the wearer would give great head. A Bimbo can work any man to a froth just by the way she works her pierced tongue as she flirts with a man.

Nipples – Nothing says naughty little Bimboslut like a pair of pierced nipples. Very, very sexy.

Bellybutton – Imagine a flat tummy. Now imagine the cutest little bellybutton you’ve seen. Now imagine a little silver chain with tiny, rhinestone studded letters that reads “Daddy’s Slut”. Movin’ on.

Clit – Like the nipples, this one screams “bimboslut”. A simple gold ring is all that is required. Oh, and it feels great to her during sex.

A Bimbo can come to HER Man with these already in place. If not, the act of piercing can serve as a ritual for a Bimbo and HER Man. The pain she undergoes in getting these is a small token of her submission to HER Man. It is another sign of her desire to be what men want her to be.

There are other areas that can be pierced. Some are quite sexy, while others can be downright distracting and should be avoided. In these cases, it is best for a Bimbo to consult HER Man about he wants.

The Proper Way To Remove Panties

I'm not going to join the ranks of the profiles offering to train women how to become bimbos - there's enough out there already. So, I am going to use the blog to write about my views on the subject of bimbos. At times, I will offer what I see as tips and 'self-training' ideas for any one who thinks that they may be useful to them.

With that in mind:

A large part of what makes a Bimbo sexy is that she derives pleasure from and finds fulfillment in living to please men. Every aspect of her being is oriented in this direction. Unlike the Centerfold (and especially the Stripper) a Bimbo is always on display to men. This is especially true of HER Man. Putting on a show at the mall by wearing a mini-skirt with a tiny g-string and riding up and down the mall escalators is an activity, and adventure that a Bimbo can plan for. Putting on and taking off her clothes, however, is an everyday activity that she does in the space (room/apt./house) that she shares with HER Man. She doesn't go in another room to do these things. She does it in front of HER Man. Since a Bimbo is always on display, she cannot just casually cast off her clothes in front on him. She must make the act of undressing (and dressing) into a show for his benefit.

In other words, there is a proper way for a Bimbo to take off (and put on) her panties. Please refer to the above pic. To remove her panties, a Bimbo should turn around, facing away from HER Man. Arching her back (a little or a lot, it is up to her to decide or him to tell her which), she sticks her cute little butt out towards HER Man. Her next move is to hook her thumbs under her panties where they ride at the hip. An important part of this move, and often forgotten, is what I call "sparkle fingers". With the thumbs under the panties, the rest of the fingers spread out like a fan. Slowly, the Bimbo begins to pull her panties down over her ass. It is important to remember that they should slide off the ass. They are not to be pulled away and down. The Bimbo should pause a moment when the panties are at the point where her bottom of her bottom (sorry, couldn't resist) meets the tops of her thighs. After that, she continues to slide them down her legs until she can step out of them. Depending on HER Man, the Bimbo may want to keep facing the wall during the whole process, or she may want to turn her head and look back over her shoulder.

To put on her panties, a Bimbo steps into them and then the process is reversed. The only change is the end move. To finish pulling up her panties, a Bimbo pulls her (g-string) out away from her body, and upwards, so the panties are all nice and snugly in front.

Tips for Bimbos:

1 - To make this part of your natural way of undressing/dressing, you need to do this as often as you can. Even if your Man is not at home when its time to take off/put on your panties, stick your butt out towards the bed. If you are in an on-line relationship, stick your butt out towards the computer screen (something I have had MY Bimbo do).

2 - Use this method not just for panties, but for taking off/putting on your skirts, shorts, jeans, etc.

3 - Don't forget the sparkle fingers!